Kid Preview: Chapters 1-4

Chapter Four

It’d been over a month since the night at the pool hall. Nyx and Dev convinced me that Alex thought more of me than just a friend or even just a kid he was housing. They listed off on their fingers several things he’d done as the proof of his clear feelings. Everything they said matched up to what I was thinking. The way he smiled, only for me, and the closeness of his body as he taught me how to play nine-ball was more boyfriend than buddy. I was hopeful that with time our relationship would grow into something more.

But things changed.

It started on the ride home that night. Alex wouldn’t talk to me. He barely even looked at me. If I asked him a question, he would answer with one syllable words. I refused to look too much into his behavior and chalked it up to exhaustion. It was late, and we had been going all day. There were too many times he showed signs of being into me, and all the good he’d done didn’t outweigh that one bad moment.

But that was just the beginning.

In the morning, things got worse, much worse. Not only was Alex not speaking to me, but he would purposely move away from me if I sat down next to him or got within a foot of his perfect, impenetrable galaxy.

It was painful and disheartening. I segregated myself to the bedroom and wouldn’t interact with Alex's family. That atmosphere was too reminiscent of the home I’d run away from in October.

I’d thought about packing up all my shit and leaving, but Alex would always sense my plans and do a one-eighty. He would accost me in the kitchen or the living room and give me that smile that lit up my world. That’s all it took to win me over. We’d be talking and laughing and flirting again, much like we did that first day together, and things with us would quickly escalate from there.

How many times would he allow playful touches, or even the gentle ones, like brushing the hair from my eyes and rubbing his hands up and down my arms when I got cold?

Like three Tuesdays ago, for instance, it was raining, and Alex stayed in; hungover from the night before. He tapped on my bedroom door and asked me to watch a show with him. It was just us in the apartment that day, and during those rare times, he would let himself relax around me.

We sat down on the couch to watch Breaking Bad, and our thighs touched for three-freaking-episodes. It had to be against his rules. I’m not sure how it happened, but we got into a playful fight over what to watch next. We wrestled with the remote back and forth for a while, but, somehow, I got possession of it.

As I was lying on my back, arm stretched over my head to keep it away from him; he threw his body on top of mine. It shocked me, and I couldn’t move. Alex stared down, his gaze flickering between my eyes and lips, and for the second time, he leaned in to kiss me.

Then fate stepped in with a loud, abrupt knock on the door. Alex jumped up from me like I was on fire. He clicked off the television, ran his hands through his hair, obsessively, and allowed himself one last glance at me. There was a hint of regret but quickly wiped away with indifference. Alex ordered me to fix my shirt before going to the room. He was doing a drug deal, and I wasn’t privy to that.

I swallowed my lumps and cursed myself for letting him hurt me.

But I stayed, and Alex was back to keeping me at a distance, and this was the longest stretch, ten days and counting. Whatever slip of judgment he had with me on that couch, he made a point of never letting it happen again.

It was hard to put into words how he treated me. His demeanor was cold and unaffected. There was zero eye contact between us—which I missed dearly. If a situation forced him to talk with me, he would, but again, it was with the short, one syllable words: Sure. No. Yeah. So.

It was seven weeks into my hell, and the family was throwing a party over at Sawyer’s apartment. It was a tactic they used to lure in new customers and keep the ones they had strung out. Nyx argued with Alex about inviting me. He was dead-set against it. I listened for a good fifteen minutes as he went on and on about how he was stuck having to take care me, why should he take me everywhere he goes too? Nyx only won due to the fact I couldn’t stay in his apartment by myself.

“What if someone comes over, Alex?” Nyx pointed out. “Do you want to take that chance of her getting caught up in your shit?”

There was a long pause from him before he conceded with a frustrated groan. “Fine! But she’s your responsibility tonight.”

Then he stormed out of the apartment.

Nyx soft tapping on the bedroom door came a moment later. “Madison? Can I come in?”

Tossing the book, I’d been trying to read as a distraction, to the side, I got up from the bed and let her in. She walked in slowly, studying my face, and looking for any signs of distress. The way he treated me was painful, I couldn’t lie about that, but I came from a household where that behavior was status quo.

“I’m okay. Honestly. But why are you pushing Alex like that?” I said in a huff. “The last thing I want to be is some sad puppy dog annoyance to him. I’m fine here by myself.”

Nyx went to talk several times but kept cutting herself off short.

Finally, she threw up her hands and sighed. “I don’t know why he’s acting like that towards you. If you were such an annoyance to him, he would toss your ass out on the streets, and not give you a roof over your head and feed you.” She glanced behind her and closed the door. When she spoke again, it was a whisper. “Do you know he has a jar for you?”

I gave a slight shake of my head. “No, what is that?”

Nyx held up her finger to silence me, and walked back to the door, pressing her ear against it. She listened for a minute, and when she felt the coast was clear, she took a step towards me and said, “I’ve seen it once, but he moves it around the house every few days, to make sure nobody finds it, but it’s a savings jar.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Huh?”

“I know, it sounds silly, but Alex’s old school that way. It’s a decent sized jar, and it’s labeled Madi’s college.”

“Bullshit!” I laughed. She was pulling my leg now. “It’s nice of you to try to cheer me up, but I don’t…”

“I’m going to prove it to you,” Nyx said, and exited the room.

I stood there chewing on my cuticles, debating on following her. Alex would be pissed if came home and caught us snooping in his house.

God, he’s such a hot-headed asshole sometimes, but I feared he would kill Nyx.

After two minutes of her opening cabinets and drawers, my curiosity got the best of me, and I rushed out of the room to help her. Who knew how long we had? I ran to the living room window and pulled back the blinds. The Chevelle was gone. That was good, and it meant that Alex left the complex. My anxiety eased some, but I locked the front door to give us that extra two seconds.

Turning on my heel, I dashed to help Nyx in the kitchen. She had moved on, but the evidence of her tornado left in the wake. All the drawers and cabinets left opened and looked like a scene from The Sixth Sense.

I slapped my hand to my forehead. How would Alex not know something happened while he was gone? My job now wasn’t helping her find the jar but cleaning up after her.

“Ah ha!” Nyx yelled from the next room.

I sprinted out of the kitchen as she ran out of Len’s room and we met each other in the hallway. She had a shit-eating grin and a massive mason jar in her hand. Stuffed with some ones and twenties, about a quarter of the way filled, and labeled as she said, ‘Madi’s college.’

Alex even spelled my name right.

“See! What did I tell you?”

There was a tightening of my chest. I didn’t understand any of this. “Why would he do that?”

Nyx was bragging now and fluffed her colorful feathers. “Because he cares about you. I don’t know why he’s acting like such an asshole all the time, but I’m guessing there’s more to the story.”

The lock on the front door clicked over, and my eyes widened in sync with Nyx’s. I pushed her into Len’s room as I slid back into the kitchen. My heart was hammering in my chest, and it made it hard to hear the footsteps in the hallway, but I held my breath and listened.

It was Alex.

I knew the shuffle of his boots. He stopped short of the kitchen. My room door was open. Was he looking for Nyx or me? The shuffled continued, getting closer and closer until he was on top of me.

“Madison?” The deep rumble of his voice was unexpected and something I hadn’t heard in forever.

I grimaced and looked up. “Hey.”

Alex was wearing his St. Louis Cardinals baseball hat. I’d forgotten how cute he looked when he wore that cap and how much it made his eyes pop. It was sad how quickly he could turn me into a pile of crushing, girly mush.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his head tilted to the side and eyeing me with suspicion. I had my whole body pressed up against the wall as if I was hoping to flatten myself out of existence.

How do I talk to him now? I know the secret he’s been hiding.

“Um, I was…getting something to eat,” I said, pushing myself off the wall and going to the refrigerator.

I smiled at the shelves stocked full of my favorites: Dr. Pepper, string cheese, and Snack-packs. They weren’t the best nutritional wise, but when he first took me in, I was rail-thin. I’ve put on ten pounds since then, and now my boobs and bum were fuller.

The little things he did weren’t only essential to my survival but a huge deal.

He followed me, still skeptical, and watched me pop open a can and nervously chug it. “And where’s Nyx?”

I gulped down the last drop and played dumb. “Who?”

That set Alex off, and he glanced back towards the closed door of Len’s room. I wanted to whistle or give her a heads up, but it was too late. He was charging her way. I cursed under my breath and scampered to my room. The last thing I wanted to do was bear witness to her murder.

Flinging the door closed behind me, I threw myself to the bed and hid under the covers. I listened for the yelling, but it never came.

Ten minutes later there was a knock, and Nyx’s voice was soft and mumbled by the door. “Don’t worry. We’re cool. I’ll see you at the party.”

Devlin came over an hour later with bags of clothes and makeup. I didn’t own a dress or anything girly, and I couldn’t remember the last time I put on blush. Nyx learned this about me and sent the word out that I was in dire straits.

“There’s going to be guys at this party,” Dev said when I tried to refuse her generosity. “You need to play up your God-given assets.”

I smiled, but her reasons depressed me. The guy I wanted to give all my assets to was complaining in the next room. I could hear the flick of his lighter as I zipped up the black mini-skirt Dev threw at me. The top she gave me was a deep burgundy lace-like body suit. On the hanger, with its turtleneck and flaring long sleeves, it looked hideous, but once it was on, it wasn’t half bad. The see-through material was a little revealing and a far cry than my usual tom-boy attire, but I was desperate for Alex to see me as a woman.

Dev dab my lips with some gloss tussled my hair and pushed me out of the room. “We’re ready!”

“Finally,” Alex grumbled. He grabbed his keys off the coffee table and stood up. He turned to me with indifference but did a double-take. His eyes went wide, and his jaw dropped, figuratively hitting the floor.

“My work seems finished here,” Dev said as she sashayed past me and went out the front door.

We were alone again. A situation Alex worked tirelessly to avoid. The weight of his eyes on me was overwhelming and exhilarating. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but his stare spoke more than he’d ever say out loud.

“What did you do?” he asked.

I bit down on my bottom lip, getting a taste of strawberry on my tongue, and shrugged. “Nothing.”

He twirled his keys on his finger and walked towards me. “Doesn’t look like nothing.”

Suddenly feeling naked and bashful under his scrutinized gaze, I pulled on the bottom hem of the skirt, but the damn thing had little fabric and came down to mid-thigh. “Dev said there was going to be guys at the party.”

Alex kept advancing and backed me into the wall. He fisted the keys mid-twirl, and with his other hand, traced the top border of my black bra underneath and followed it down to my cleavage. “And this is for them?”

He expected me to say it was all for him, and it was, but why should he get what he wanted all the time?

“Yes.” I kept my eyes locked on his; never wavering. “Dev told me there would be plenty of rooms at Sawyer’s to hook up.”

That was a lie, but I spoke it so effortlessly, I doubted Alex knew the difference. The point was to make him jealous and show him I wasn’t going to wait around.

“So…” He leaned in close and put his mouth to my ear. “You’re all grown now?”

Fuck was the only word going through my head as he moved his hands down my body to examine my womanly curves. My breath hitched when his fingers got to the top waistband of my skirt. I throbbed with anticipation of how far he would take things. One finger slipped underneath, and then two. He was finally caving, and I was finally getting what I wanted. So why I did what I did, I’ll never know.

“I will be!” I pulled his hand out and glared. “But not for you.”

The reaction I didn’t want but caused by my stupidity was his coldness. The sparkle in his eyes faded until they were nothing but flat, dark, and distant orbs.

“You’re right.” He backed up and did a grand swoop of his arm towards the door. “After you, kid.”

Sawyer’s party was in full swing by the time we arrived. Dev searched Len out in the crowd of people and jumped into his arms. They found the nearest couch to make out. Alex stayed in front of me as he pushed bodies aside to make a path. Everywhere I looked, eyes were narrowed and trained on us, and followed our route without a break. It was hard to decipher who the attention was going to. My skirt was short and raised higher with every step I took, but Alex was Alex. Everyone craved his attention and fought to be near him.

We found Nyx in the kitchen lining up shots on the counter. She smiled and waved us over. Before I could even reach her, Alex did a beeline back to the living room and disappeared. He didn’t even bother saying goodbye.

“Hey!” I shouted at her over the loud music.

“Hey! Damn, you look hot, girl!” Nyx slid a shot glass over to me. “Here. Bottoms up.”

I didn’t ask questions, hesitate or anything; I just downed it. Flipping the glass over, I gave a heads-up for round two.

“All right, turbo,” she said, reluctantly giving me another one. “But pace yourself. The last thing I need is you getting shit-faced. Alex will kill me.”

Even hearing his name gave my heart a jolt and made my body weak. I’m head over heels for the jerk, and for what? The handful of times he’s been kind to me, and that damn jar, didn’t outweigh the bad. I slammed down the second shot to stop these stupid thoughts.

“I don’t care what he thinks,” I said, lying through my teeth.

Nyx smiled knowingly, but there was sympathy there too. She patted the stool next to her. “Why don’t you help me mix drinks.”

An hour into the party, I had a decent buzz. I hadn’t seen Alex since he ditched me, but Len and Dev have been frequent visitors. They were keeping me busy and distracted. I’d made it no secret that I had the hots for their friend, and unfortunately, the feelings weren’t mutual. Whatever business he had going out there, they didn’t want me to see, and Dev did her best to wave over some random guys. They were all nice at first, but as soon as they realized we weren’t going to make out or sleep together, they lost interest and wandered off.

I didn’t care.

What I did care about was the family keeping me confined. I tried to go to the bathroom on my own, but conveniently, there was a guest bathroom attached to the kitchen. It’s why they chose this spot. Nyx made a deal with Alex to keep tabs on me while he was out there in the other parts of the house being himself and doing God knows what.

I had to escape.

For about two hours, I worked my captors and convinced them I was content in my cage. They let their guard down and felt safe enough to leave me unattended. Nyx went to the bathroom while Dev and Len went off to partake in illegal activity. I seized my window of opportunity and walked through my invisible borders. The crowd wasn’t as large and had dispersed a bit. I quickly found Dev and Len on the couch, surrounded by people and a haze of smoke. They looked in my direction, but I quickly ducked into the adjacent hallway.

There were four rooms, and all those rooms occupied by couples, or even trios, having sex. Alex wasn’t in any of them. I sighed with relief, knowing full well catching him with someone else would’ve crushed me. But now it made me more desperate to find him. Call it glutton for punishment, but I needed to know for sure. My first scan of the living room came up empty, but as I headed towards the front door to check if he was outside, I found him in the far back corner, and he wasn't alone. 

He was sitting in a lazy boy with some slut on his lap. I didn’t even know what she looked like because all I could see was his thumb hooked in the back waistband of her hooker shorts. I watched way too long as he lazily caressed her skin with that thumb. He was talking and looking at ease.

She giggled, hugged him, and pressed her overly inflated boobs into his face. “Oh. Alex. You’re so funny.”

He leaned back in the chair and smiled. It was genuine. It was sweet. It was only for her.

That’s what took the air from my lungs, and I collapsed, having just the wall behind me to break my descent into Hell.

He could ignore me. That was fine. I was living in his house. He came back to me each day. We ate dinner together. And as far as I knew, I was the only girl in his life. My denial and isolation led me to believe such a lie. But now, I couldn’t expel the truth. There were other girls. They got to laugh with him and kiss him. He touched them and made them feel special.

Thick, sour bile quickly rose and lodged itself in the back of my throat. “I’m going to be sick.” Picking myself up, I swung around to go back to the hallway bathroom; I cursed loudly. “Fuck!”

The line had grown exponentially. I couldn’t wait. The balcony and fresh air were less than ten feet away, but I would have to pass Alex and his hussy to get to it. Damn it! And we were two stories up. I wasn’t about to jump out a window and break my legs to escape a situation—not even for Alex!

“Hey, ma. What’s your name?”

It took me a second for my eyes to focus on the guy standing in front of me. He was tall and well dressed. The face wasn’t half bad either. He had dark eyes and dark skin, and when he smiled, I pretended it was just for me.

“I’m Mad. What’s yours?”

Maybe it was my buzz turning into something more, or the fact Alex was close to making out with that girl, but I pushed my body up against this stranger. My message to him was clear: I was available for whatever.

He said his name, but I wasn’t listening. My focus was on his hands and how they moved down to my hips. “You with anybody?”

“Nope.” I covered his hands with mine and walked us back into the living room. The music was blasting a slow song, but more importantly, I needed an audience.

My eyes flashed over to Alex. That girl still had him wrapped up and not paying mind to much else, but Len noticed. He nudged Alex on his shoulder. I couldn’t hear what they said, but whatever it was, it brought Alex’s attention towards me. There wasn’t indifference anymore. I smiled as he hushed the slut on his lap and shot daggers my way.

The song ended long ago, and the room was now eerily silent like someone turned the stereo off, but we kept dancing, grinding against one another.

 I was overselling it, laughing, and acting obnoxious. The guy didn’t care. He told me how sexy I was and how bad he wanted me. His large hands touched me everywhere: He cupped my breasts. He gripped my waist. He squeezed my ass. It was painful at times, but I wasn’t going to tell him to stop. My need to show Alex that the kid he ignored had grown up into a desirable woman overshadowed my unease and discomfort.

I snuck a glance over at him. The girl on his lap was gone. He was sitting forward in that lazy boy with his hands clasped so tightly together his knuckles were turning white, but it was his stare that made my heart skip a few thousand beats. Len panicked and had to grab Sawyer to talk into his ear, but I knew Alex well enough to know that he wasn’t listening.

I was getting underneath his skin.

That encouraged me.

Rising to my tiptoes, I barely got face to neck with the guy. “Kiss me.”

The second I said those words, I regretted it, but I was already in too deep and committed. My dance partner took a firm grasp of my face and went in for the kill.

Closing my eyes, I pretended he was Alex. I was tipsy enough and might not notice the significant differences. My nails dug into his biceps as the wisp of his mouth brushed against mine, but as quickly as it was there, it was gone.

The next thing I knew, someone ripped me out of the guy’s embrace.

“Handle him.” A voice that made my heart go pitter-patter, usually smooth, was now deeper, throaty, and seeping with rage.

My eyes opened to a blur of chaos: Alex dragged me towards the front door, and the family surrounded my dance partner to hold him back. He was a big guy too. It shocked me to see they were successful.

Sawyer’s hands were on the guy’s chest, and he was talking fast. I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, but whatever it was, it stopped the situation from getting worse. The expression on my dance partner’s face went from anger, shock, to eventual understanding.

That was the last time I saw him.

Confused and buzzed from all the shots, I couldn’t see straight. The fast-paced pull Alex had on me made my surroundings spin. It was disorienting and made me want to vomit.

“Will you stop…” I was jerked my arm back, but also tripping over my own feet, as he rushed me down the stairs towards the parking lot. “You’re hurting me.”

“Fuck!” His growl reverberated off the walls, but his hold on me loosened.

Did he stop to talk with me? No. Alex kept tugging me along through the small courtyard and to his car.

“I don’t know why you’re mad at me,” I said, not expecting him to respond. “We’re not together. We’re not even friends.”

Alex stopped abruptly and spun me around to face him. He gripped both my arms, brought me in close and sniffed my breath. “How much have you been drinking?”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Get off it.”

“Do you think this shit is a game? Huh? You’re a kid. That stunt you pulled upstairs was…” He closed his eyes tight and inhaled in deep to calm himself. “It won’t happen again.”

Alex was back to dragging me along—both literally and figuratively. I was beginning to wonder if living with this guy was going to be one of celibacy. If he didn’t want me, did that mean no one else could have me either? Granted, I used what’s his name upstairs to make Alex jealous, but what if I was serious about him?

“And what happens If I meet someone else? Are you going to pull me away from them too?”

Alex laughed, but he was mocking me. “I don’t care who you date.”

We were two feet away from the car, and he had to dig into his jean pockets to pull out his keys. It was in that second where his focus was elsewhere that I could free myself from his grasp. I backed away from him, needing some distance to think. Even when he was a controlling asshole, I couldn’t get over how good he smelled.

“What are you doing?” he asked, reaching his hand out to me. “Just, come on, get in the car and we’ll talk about it.”

“Talk about what? How you don't want to fuck me—”

“Stop with your cursing,” Alex spoke through his tightly closed mouth as he squeezed his eyes shut.

I would do whatever he wanted, and I felt myself falling back into that trap, but that’s what got me into this situation. The liquid courage still flowed through my veins and pushed me to push him.

Moving closer to erase the distance, I spoke low. “Who’s allowed to fuck me? If not you?”

Alex’s eyes opened and gazed down at me. He played dirty and responded with a beautiful, soul-breaking smile. He lured me in with a gentle grab of my hand. “Get in.”

Betraying everything I was standing up against, I got light-headed and fell into him—again! “Fine.”

When we were in the car, the jerk didn’t put the keys in the ignition or even look at me. It was silent and awkward.

“What the fuck are you doing?” His voice was lower than a whisper.

My mouth opened to answer him, but my attention went astray by his exposed, flexing biceps. He had his hands rested on his head with his fingers tangled in his hair. I narrowed my eyes and tilted my head to the side, trying to figure out some of the meaning behind his tattooed art. On the underside of his right forearm, I caught a name inked in black cursive.

Tanya.

My chest ached, and I stopped breathing, but even if I was dying inside, I couldn't tear my eyes away—no matter how hard I tried, that name was all I could see...

Tanya.

Why didn't I seen it before? Denial? Probably. She must be that girl who was sitting on his lap. Why didn’t he mention her before? Was it better for me to find out about them tonight? Did he ever want me to find out? She had to mean something to him. Guys don't get a girl's name tattooed on them unless they cared for them or…loved them.

Lost in my miserable thoughts, I almost missed it when Alex spoke.

“What were you trying to prove back there?”

“Nothing,” I said with a shrug, barely glancing at him. “I was dancing.”

He scoffed. “You were doing more than just dancing, kid.”

The fact that he treated me like I was unfaithful to him pissed me off.

“What does it matter? If I was fucking the guy in the middle of the room—”

“Stop saying that fucking word!” Alex snapped.

I glared. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

He put his hand over my mouth and pressed his forehead to mine. “Madison, I’m begging you to stop.”

Nodding my head, he released me and sat back in his seat. It got silent and awkward again. Nothing was going to get accomplished if we kept on pushing each other’s buttons. I aimed to be the mature and level-headed one.

“You had no right to pull me away like that.”

“I was protecting you,” he said but refused to look at me when he said this. He kept his head forward and chewed the shit out of his lip ring.

“From what? A good time?” I waited for him to answer, but silence. “Whatever. You’re not my boyfriend.” I got a flash of his Tanya. How she laughed at his jokes and how he tenderly stroked her skin. It killed me to no end, but I had no claim on him. We were nothing to each other. “You made that point quite clear when you sat that girl on your lap.”

“What?”

“You’re not into…” My voice caught up in my throat. He was looking straight through me now, and there was nowhere for me to hide. My lies and hard-shell persona crumbled and all the emotions I’d been feeling rose to the surface. “I’m sorry. It’s just when I saw her…with you, I just…It hurt, and I lost it. Okay?”

He groaned and put his hands on his head again. “That’s what this shit is about?”

“I get it. You’re with somebody. I was hoping…”

“Kid.” Alex reached over and squeezed my knee gently. “Jacey means nothing to me. It’s just business. A girl I play to keep strung out on—” Cutting himself off short, he forced a smile. “That doesn’t matter. The point is, she’s not…” He sighed, removing his touch, and putting both of his hands on the wheel. “We’re not together.”

Jacey wasn’t Tanya. Jacey wasn’t his girlfriend. I was the one girl in his life. My buzz still in high gear and my delusion firmly in place, it gave me the courage to be straightforward with him. I was over beating around the bush. One minute he was hot with me and the next minute he was cold. There’s one way to find out for sure if this thing between us could be more.

Shifting in my seat, I leaned over the center console and towards him. He didn’t back away. I stared at his lips, licking my own in anticipation.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I asked, inching closer to him. "I’m demanding that you kiss me."

“Okay.” Alex bent his head down, just a little, causing my breath to hitch. He smiled as he picked up my hand and kissed it.

I frowned, jutting out my bottom lip. "That's not what I meant."

“I know, but I've already taken more than my fair share."

This guy was nothing but a constant tease. He was always bringing me to the brink of combustion only to snatch it away at the last minute.

"Ugh," I growled, throwing myself back into my seat. "Do you honestly torture me this way for the fun of it?"

"I'm torturing you?" He laughed, shaking his head. "Do you honestly think that I don't want to kiss you?"

“After the way you’ve been treating me lately? I’m baffled that you keep me around.”

He reached over to put his hand on my knee again, and I jerked it away.

The message received.

“Keeping you at a distance was easier than the alternative.”

“Easier?” I scowled, virtually so frustrated to tears. “You didn’t care how that would make me feel?”

"I’m sorry, but it was the only way I knew how to keep myself in line," he said, angling his body towards me. "I know this sounds crazy, especially coming from a fucker like me, but I don't want to cross that line with you. Not while you're still underage."

Oh, right, his morals.

I wasn't buying it—not after all the shit I've seen tonight. The tears were gone, and now I was livid.

"What? Are you kidding me right now?" I shouted at him. "You're a drug dealer, Alex. A freaking drug dealer! You smuggle pounds of weed and smack into the States every week. Trust me; statutory rape is the least of your worries." I could see him wavering now, and I went in for the kill. Sitting up, with my knees on the seat, I crossed his invisible barrier and pressed my chest up against his body. We were face to face, less than a centimeter away, and I whispered against his lips. "Besides, who’s going to turn you in?"

"I was hoping you would make this shit easy on me, but fucking look at you," he huffed, his hand waving over my short, short skirt and my little nipple slip. “Just fucking with my head and..."

"And what?" I asked, biting my lip, begging him to kiss me already.

"Fuck!" he cursed, hitting the steering wheel with his fists. "You have no idea what you're doing to me, do you?"

"I want you to kiss me. Just one stupid kiss. It's not like I'm asking for a marriage proposal."

He glared, still suspicious of my motives. "If I give you one kiss, will you shut the hell up about it?"

"Yes." I smiled. "But you have to kiss me on the lips."

"Which lips?"

I clenched my jaw, trying to control the arousal that struck me down below. Damn it, Alex! Why did he have to say that? My mind imagined him there, between my legs, and kissing me until I screamed. He was too cruel.

"Well," he said, playfully nudging me.

"I'm thinking."

He smirked, leaning back in his seat, and putting his hands behind his head. "You just tell me where."

Knowing full well that I was going to hate myself later for this, I decided that I wanted him to kiss me on my mouth.

"Here," I said finally, pointing to my lips. "I want you to kiss me here."

"Are you sure?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow. "Because the one kiss is all you get."

I gasped. "One kiss?"

"It's just one kiss until you turn eighteen. That's the deal. Take it or leave it."

He raised a hard bargain, and I knew that kissing Alex would only leave my lips wanting more, but screw Pandora’s Box! He was offering it to me then, and I didn't think about the consequences.

"I'll take it," I said, a little too eagerly, but I wanted it more than anything.

Alex leaned in and pushed me back into my seat. He was everywhere in my space: his hands on my neck, his lips hovering over mine, his sweet breath wafting over me.

All his morals and reluctance vanished, and he was now taking control.

It was lovely.

“Are you sure you want this?”

I closed my eyes. “Mmmhmm.”

"All right," he conceded, his hands moved up and cupped my face, holding it firmly.

Time ticked away as I anxiously awaited that moment when he finally kissed me. Then it happened. His lips gently pressed against mine. They were soft and enticingly warm, a vast contrast to the coldness and hardness of his lip ring, but they seemed to go in sync with each other.

He started to move his mouth, his attention on my bottom lip as he sucked and pulled at it, coaxing me to join him. He made circular motions against my cheeks with his thumbs. I grasped his wrists, needing stabilization as my world flipped and spun around me.

There was no tongue, and he didn't rush it. The kiss was tender and slow. It was perfect.

When he pulled away, I whimpered. "More."

He chuckled. "Don't be greedy, kid. One kiss is all you get until April 19th. That's the deal."

I opened my eyes in surprise. "You know my birthday?"

"Of course, I do," he said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "I marked it down on my calendar.”